


and as I never close my eyes (for my eyes only)

by blankcamellia



Category: SixTONES (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Blame the eyeliner, Finger Sucking, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Riding, but there's actually a slight plot, who wouldn't stare at Taiga tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:14:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25539367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blankcamellia/pseuds/blankcamellia
Summary: “Kyomoto?” He asks, feeling a weird sense of deja-vu, knowing somewhere back in his mind that this definitely happened before but he can’t seem to recollect exactly when.“Can I borrow an eyeliner?”
Relationships: Kyomoto Taiga/Matsumura Hokuto
Comments: 8
Kudos: 22





	and as I never close my eyes (for my eyes only)

**Author's Note:**

> The sequel probably everyone who read [and as I close (open) my eyes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19439104) wanted but never asked for.   
> I also am very confused about the way I wrote the first part (was it all a dream? was it real? or? who knows???) BUT OH WELL, that's in the past now, and here's the smut for you all thirsty fans out there lmao
> 
> (I've been stuck with this fic for over 10 days now, and it's finally ? done? it went from confusing 1.5k words to this. Hopefully it's something? because I feel like I'm losing my touch AHHAHA don't mind me panicking lol now i just want to write angst and sort out feelings

There's a faint knock on his door to his room, and Hokuto barely registers it at first until it knocks again, and this time, he doesn’t bat an eye when he opens it and Taiga is standing outside. 

“Kyomoto?” He asks, feeling a weird sense of deja-vu, knowing somewhere back in his mind that this definitely happened before but he can’t seem to recollect exactly when. 

“Can I borrow an eyeliner?”

Always frank and wasting no time, typical Taiga. He lets go of the door handle, pushing the door open slightly more to let the other in as he walks over to his bed, where his bag is open, rummaging through it until he finds his pouch of makeup products. 

They barely talk but Taiga sits down on the other side of the bed, making himself at home immediately, watching Hokuto with curious, bright eyes as he fishes up his artillery of eyeliners. 

“Want me to apply it too?” He waves his unused dark-brown eyeliner, and if he’s completely honest, he actually bought it because he thought of Taiga. 

He watches how Taiga takes the eyeliner in, the color, the condition of it, the brand, and the type, or maybe he just stares at Hokuto’s fingers holding it - Hokuto’s not quite sure because he’s noticed how Taiga seems to stumble slightly, almost unnoticeable, whenever Hokuto uses his fingers in their choreographies. It’s maybe encouraging him to use them more often, or maybe not. (Definitely.)

Then, Taiga nods, a few short, fast nods, and his blond hair fly all over his face, lips in a tight line but aura determined, almost as if he’s been prepared for this. Hokuto puts his pouch and bag away from the bed, not wanting anything to spill out if Taiga decides to do anything rash. 

He walks around the bed and sits down beside Taiga, the bed dipping slightly with his added weight on it. Taiga’s breath is hot on his skin as he reaches over in front of him to throw the plastic around the eyeliner into the bin. It makes the hair on his neck stand, shivers running through his body, and he recognizes these shivers. They’re not cold shivers but hot shivers - the kind of shivers he gets whenever he’s alone with his own hands and mind free to imagine anything.

“Close your eyes,” he says, voice low and husky, almost afraid to speak louder in case it’ll scare Taiga away or break the fragile tension between them. Maybe he should break it, get rid of whatever it is between them, get it sorted out once and for all but he’s nothing but a coward. Afraid of the future, the past, the consequences, the reactions, Taiga, rejection, acceptance but most of all - his own feelings. 

When Taiga’s eyes are closed, he reaches out to brush his hair away from his face, gently and slowly, taking his time to run his fingers over Taiga’s soft, pale skin, briefly wondering if the other gets enough rest, or if he’s taking care of himself. The motion feels strangely familiar, strangely comfortable.

He lets the eyeliner dance over Taiga’s eyelid, dark-brown pigment painting the skin, creating new depth to the shape of his eyes. Talking about eyes, Taiga’s eyes are the brightest, most beautiful, and enchanting eyes ever to Hokuto. He could drown in them if it was possible, no matter what emotion they hold. He just knows, that when Taiga opens his eyes and looks at him, it’ll be spectacular. 

For years, he’s been imagining Taiga in different ways and the moment Taiga started to emphasize his eyes with eyeliner, Hokuto was a real goner. It’s an unreal situation, watching Taiga apply makeup, not to hide any insecurities or blemishes but to enhance the beauty that is already there. He’s been watching the older wake up just as gorgeous as when he went to sleep, and if he’s being honest, he’s a bit jealous. Mostly because he feels like the world is ending every time he opens his eyes on a morning he’s not ready for. Taiga is just unfair. 

He can feel Taiga’s breath on his skin again as he moves over to the other eye, holding back himself from trembling, not wanting to screw anything up. Not wanting to groan out loud because Taiga is just so  _ fucking  _ close, and the familiar feeling of arousal creeps upon him. He shifts Taiga’s head slightly, tilting it a bit with the help of his fingers on his jawline, pushing against it, and it takes all of his willpower to not drag his fingers along it. 

Somehow, he manages to finish the other eye too, most likely on auto-pilot more than anything else. Because his brain is empty right now, but his heart is full. It’s all Taiga. 

He turns around when he tells Taiga he’s done, not wanting to face the other when he opens his eyes, knowing that it’ll affect him too much if he does, his gut telling him that it’s too dangerous to look into Taiga’s eyes on a close distance. 

To put the eyeliner back into his pouch on the floor, he has to lay his whole body over the bed to reach down, and when he glances over to Taiga, he sees the other by the small vanity mirror he put up on the hotel room’s desk. 

Maybe he stares a second too long because their eyes meet, and it’s the biggest mistake ever (maybe not) because Hokuto’s mind goes blank. Taiga smiles mischievously at him, lips turning into a smirk as he blinks and turns his head just enough to create a sharp contrast of his natural eye shape and the illusion the eyeliner creates. Hokuto wants to dive under the blanket right there, hide from Taiga’s piercing gaze but at the same time, he can’t look away.

His heart speeds up, just like it does whenever he watches Taiga from afar during their concert rehearsals and the other is on the other side of the stage but still manages to catch his eye. Just like it does whenever Taiga smiles at someone’s jokes, or when he forgets the world around him, or when he simply walks down the runways, looking confident and in his element. Or when he’s simply just Taiga. 

The itch to pull Taiga close, to kiss him, to touch him, comes back to him, and he would have preferred it to come when Taiga wasn’t here but Hokuto knows by now that the itch comes whenever it wants to. He can’t help it because Taiga is so irresistible (and Hokuto’s so deep in love). So he lies there, eyeliner still in hand, eyes locked with Taiga’s through the mirror, and he doesn’t know if he should roll over, or if that’s too awkward (then again, everything is awkward when it comes to them).

_T aiga. Taiga, Taiga, Taiga—_

The sound of the eyeliner falling is a dull thud, hitting the pouch, or that bag, or something, makes him snap out of his trance, noticing how Taiga has turned around, now seated perfectly on top of him, straddling him. 

Taiga’s eyes are still on him, reflecting the same emotions Hokuto’s struggling with.

Want. Lust. Desire. Affection. Adoration. Respect. Curiosity. Mystery. Secrets. Facts.

He reaches up (finally) with a trembling hand to touch Taiga’s cheek again, this time, taking his time to feel it in a different way than before. This time Taiga is looking at him, eyes decorated dark and sharp, representing both of their feelings. 

Whether he wants to keep touching Taiga like this, map his face like an uncharted island, or if he wants Taiga to lean down (he’s too much of a coward to pull him down), doesn’t even matter. He wants both if he’s being completely honest, and he knows he can’t have everything in life. It’s just — Taiga. 

So much Taiga he can’t even think straight, or in circles, or squares. It just doesn’t make sense.

He doesn’t know when he started breathing again, too lost in thought but he knows he’s getting air because he gasps loudly when Taiga grinds down on him with a smile on his lips. 

“Tell me what you want,” Taiga’s voice fills the air between them, low and lustful, all that he’s only been dreaming of lately, and it’s so hard to form proper words. He just needs to say a few but they refuse to come out. 

“Hokuto?” It’s like a breath, barely there, but so needed, the way Taiga says his name. Then, Taiga slowly rolls his hips again, their hardening cocks brushing against each other through their clothes, as he leans down to run his fingers along Hokuto’s jawline. 

Time feels like it’s frozen, his heart beating out of control and the only thing he can hear is the sound of Taiga’s breathing or his own, he doesn’t know anymore, especially not when Taiga leans in closer to press his lips against Hokuto’s. 

It’s all it takes for him to grab at Taiga, pull them closer together and pry his mouth open with his tongue, and Taiga is more than willing to let Hokuto have his way. 

“You,” he breathes when they part for air they forgot they needed. “I want you.”

Taiga doesn’t ask how, and it’s as if he knows already that Hokuto wants him in all ways possible. Physically, mentally, soul, and body. He smiles like an angel as he keeps grinding against Hokuto. 

It's like a dance, a well-choreographed dance when he reaches up to pull off the white T-shirt, messing up Taiga’s hair in the process, and he’s never looked more desirable to Hokuto ever, eyes so dark, biting his lower lip, and breath already so heavy. 

So hesitant to reach to touch the other, afraid it’ll scatter whatever dream he’s dreaming right now because it all feels too unreal but he also can’t hold himself back, not when Taiga runs his fingers down his chest, popping the buttons off one by one until his chest is exposed. The cold air in the room makes his shiver slightly but it’s a short-lived feeling as Taiga’s fingers burn as they touch him. 

Taiga guides his hands to his body, letting Hokuto feel for himself just how real Taiga is, and maybe, just maybe this is actually real, but Hokuto doesn’t want to take any chances, still wants to be careful, appreciate the sight in front of him. Because to him, there’s nothing more beautiful than Taiga. Not that he could ever say that out loud to Taiga. That would be way too embarrassing. He’d die (but he wants to, oh, he really wants to).

All that Hokuto can do is to marvel at the way Taiga softly moans when runs his hands over his skin, a gentle touch, almost to the point of tickling, mapping out every part of Taiga that he can reach, and he really can’t keep his eyes off Taiga’s face, and how his eyes close in pleasure, the same eyes he decorated earlier. 

He rubs his thumb over one of Taiga’s nipples, feeling how the small nub hardens from his touch, and from the way Taiga pants and grips on the sheets, he feels good. He lets his other hand run along the side, brushing over the hem of Taiga’s pants, down his clothed thigh, feeling the muscles beneath tense at his touch, and when he runs it up along the backside, he gives Taiga’s ass a short squeeze before pushing them against each other again. 

His hand remains there as Taiga keeps his hips rolling, voice singing wanton sounds, and both of Hokuto’s hands are soon on his ass, keeping him in place, perfectly in position for their cocks to get that friction they both crave. 

But it’s soon not enough, too much between them, too many layers between them in all ways he can think of. If he can at least peel the physical ones off, he’ll consider that as a win. A small victory in the long war he’s fighting with himself. 

“Okay?” he whispers as he stops, fingers hovering over the hem of Taiga’s pants, not wanting to go any further if the older says no, and he’s surprised at himself for stopping because it gives him time to second guess himself too. Because there are a million reasons why Taiga wouldn’t be here with him and only one reason why he is here - and he doesn’t want to hope it’s that single reason, in case he gets hurt. 

“Of course,” Taiga’s voice is light, and airy, just like when he hits those wonderful notes when singing, the kind of notes Hokuto can’t hit yet, not even with extended vocal lessons, and he’s sure that those notes are made for Taiga, and Taiga only, because no one else sings them as he does. 

The pants are no match for Hokuto, nimble fingers opening the button and pushing them down with ease, despite them clinging onto Taiga’s legs so tightly, and he briefly wonders why Taiga wears tight pants like these, especially when they highlight his perfect ass. (He’s not complaining.) He lets Taiga pull his own pants off as well, thankfully being a loose pair of pants, and the wave of pleasure that surges through him when they’re finally all naked against each other is nothing like anything else he’s experienced before.

His hands get their own life as he puts his hands back on Taiga’s thighs, feeling the soft skin, listening to the soft sounds as he pushes Taiga back against him, their erections sliding against each other, and the new, bare feeling makes him moan out so loud he’s scared Taiga will leave. 

Taiga doesn’t, of course, he only lets out an equal lustful sound, and when Hokuto blinks, eyes focusing on the way their cocks slide together, equally hard and leaking already, he can’t help but thinking it all can’t be real. But everything feels so real. Taiga feels real, sounds real, and acts so real.

Then, he looks up at Taiga again, meets his eyes, and he immediately knows why he avoids locking eyes with Taiga on stage, or at work. They’re captivating. Magical. He’s caught before he can blink again, and the eyeliner doesn’t help at all. It only strengthens the effect of Taiga’s piercing gaze. Not even Taiga licking his lips hungrily distracts him from his eyes.

It’s when Taiga takes his hand and guides it along his thigh, back to his ass that he blinks, and realizes what he’s supposed to do. He teasingly brushes his fingertips along his ass, down to the waiting hole, gently circling his pads there, observing Taiga’s reactions down to the smallest detail. 

Taiga pulls his hand away soon enough, obviously impatient, and Hokuto can see it in his eyes, it’s the same look he has whenever they’re at rehearsals and things are not going the way he wants, and he’s been seeing it through the mirrors a lot more lately and oh — 

He realizes that it’s not impatience he’s been seeing in the mirrors lately but rather, frustration because Hokuto’s in front of him, dancing, sweating, rolling his hips, and looking like a snack. He understands now. 

The look doesn’t change at all, not even when Taiga brings Hokuto’s hands up to his face, glancing at him through his blond bangs before he closes his eyes and takes two of Hokuto’s fingers into his mouth. He feels a new wave of arousal wash over him as he watches in slow-motion how Taiga takes his fingers inside, from the fingertips to the middle knuckle, all the way to the bottom, and when he starts to wrap his tongue around them, Hokuto draws a breath and holds it, all to not come on the spot.

It certainly doesn’t help when he hears the air being filled with slick sounds from both above and below, Taiga sucking on his fingers like his life depends on it, moaning around them as he’s wrapped a hand around both of them, slowly stroking them both. 

Hokuto’s mind is running on overdrive, almost not knowing where to feel, what to feel, or how to feel. Everything is just Taiga.

_ Taiga. Taiga, Taiga, Taiga—  _

Taiga who takes the third finger inside his mouth, another slow dance, one he doesn’t quite know the choreography to, so he lets Taiga do whatever he wants. He doesn’t object though because it’s something about watching Taiga and his fingers inside him. 

Somewhere back in his mind, he knows that it’s not enough, it won’t make do, and as if Taiga can read his mind, the older is popping his fingers out, licking his lips as he fumbles for a moment before he throws a small package at Hokuto. 

‘ _ Easy-open _ ’ it says but it’s definitely not easy to open with one hand coated in saliva but he manages somehow, even with Taiga turning his attention back to their cocks and he almost drops the package of lube when he feels Taiga run his thumb over his head at the same time as Taiga’s cock twitches in anticipation.

He runs his coated fingers around Taiga’s hole, almost losing himself in the sensation as he listens to Taiga’s soft moans mixing together with his own gasps, unable to take his eyes off Taiga’s face. Especially not when the tip of his first finger ventures just inside the opening of his tight hole. He barely blinks, afraid he’ll miss any reaction from Taiga as he pushes the first finger in almost painfully slowly, waiting a moment before he pulls it almost back out, then back in again, slowly turning it as he repeats the motion, entranced by the way Taiga seems to fall into a state of bliss. Watching how Taiga’s mouth is hanging open slightly, lips all swollen and red from his previous sucking, breath panting, his tongue darting out, licking his lips. 

His breath gets caught when he feels Taiga relax more around him, allowing him deeper, sliding easier into him, and the moment when he feels his knuckles hit against Taiga’s skin, he realizes the situation he’s in. His finger is inside Taiga. It’s all surreal but at the same time, it just feels right, and the way Taiga sings above him is a symphony he wants to listen to forever. 

“More,” he hears Taiga breathe out, eyes shining bright as they express the desperation for more, and Hokuto’s not one to say no to Taiga. Always wanting to give the older whatever he wants. 

He feels how Taiga’s trying to not tense up as he pulls out his finger, only to circle two of them next against his entrance, and while it slightly worries him, the way Taiga urges him on with his gaze overtakes his worry, and he firmly presses the two digits inside him. He lets his other hand draw random patterns on Taiga’s hip, trying to soothe the older male, even if just slightly. 

But when Taiga lets out those beautiful, marvelous sounds again when Hokuto moves his fingers just right, hitting a pleasure spot deep inside him over and over again. He seems to convulse briefly, cock leaking and dropping onto Hokuto as he pants heavily. Hokuto just watches, lets his fingers move on their own, and he doesn’t realize he’s also moaning at the sensations until he feels the familiar feel of pleasure wash over him, sending shivers through his body, and especially through his hard erection.

He forces himself back from the overwhelming sensation, trying to focus on the task at hand, stretching Taiga open, and soon enough, he hears Taiga beg for more again.

His fingers slide inside easier than before, Taiga taking him in with ease now, even three fingers full and knuckle-deep, and it’s a sensation Hokuto never will forget. Especially not with the way Taiga looks at him, and only him.

It’s something magical about watching Taiga getting fucked by his fingers only, knowing that his fingers can make the older look this amazing, sound this beautiful, and crave for so much more at the same time. And it’s all because it’s Hokuto. He knows that because Taiga has started to chant his name somewhere in between his wanton moans. 

Part of him wishes Taiga never calls him by his given name in public again.

Even being stretched by three of his fingers, he still worries about Taiga and if his cock will fit because he doesn’t want Taiga to feel any discomfort at all but he knows that it’s impossible. If he takes it slow and careful, it’ll be okay, he tells himself. 

Taiga, on the other hand, thinks otherwise. It’s clear that he wants to spur Hokuto on, that he wants Hokuto to get it on with, and just ram that thick cock inside him already but he also has to dance tomorrow so it’s not the ideal option. The thought of letting Taiga decide just how rough and hard he can go one day makes him close his eyes for a second to concentrate to keep himself from coming. Too much. Taiga is too much.

Then, the moment comes when he pulls out his fingers, or more like, Taiga makes him pull them out by lifting himself up. It’s Hokuto’s time to fumble around on the bed, desperately trying to find the small condom package he knows is somewhere. Always come prepared, he learned from his seniors, and he’s taken that to heart. 

It’s Taiga who does the job in the end, taking the condom from his fumbling hands, too impatient by now to bother about being careful, and Hokuto almost chokes when he feels Taiga stroke him firmly, putting the condom in place before positioning himself. 

Hokuto watches Taiga’s face in detail, with his heart in his throat, as he takes him in, slowly entering. The expression on Taiga’s face - pure bliss, ecstasy, and satisfaction, is almost enough for him to lose it but he holds it back the best he can. 

A moment later, Taiga begins to move, slowly at first, testing the waters, those sinful hips moving gracefully, and it’s not long before Hokuto can see the way Taiga’s eyes widen, mouth dropping open in a loud gasp. He grips Taiga’s hips to steady him, to help him stay in that position, to let him hit that spot properly over and over again. When he feels Taiga’s legs start to tremble, he starts to thrust his hips up, enough to keep Taiga conscious but also enough to make him falter in his pace. 

It’s when Taiga starts to grip at Hokuto’s arms that he takes over fully, snapping his hips in the same pace Taiga had before, making sure he gets the angle just right, and when Taiga starts to let Hokuto’s name roll off his tongue, he reaches between them to stroke him in time with his thrusts, smearing the leaking liquid over his shaft, and he feels it when Taiga starts to lose it. 

He chokes out Taiga’s name, each syllable emphasized by a thrust, his own orgasm creeping up on him too, barely feeling Taiga’s release spurt on his fingers before he loses it too. 

He blinks once, only once, before hyper-focusing on Taiga’s face, just like before, taking in every detail as they both ride out their highs together, and it’s all he sees. Taiga.

Taiga falls against him a moment later, legs giving out and Hokuto wraps his arms around the older as he meets him in the middle of his fall. They try to catch their breath, the air already long lost in the middle of their highs, and who knows how long they’ve held their breaths. 

He reaches out to brush away Taiga’s hair from his face, smiling as he sees the intact eyeliner despite the way they’ve been sweating, and he resists the urge to run his thumb over it to see if it does any difference because he knows, no matter what the result is, he’ll be affected. 

Taiga crawls up slightly, enough to press a kiss to Hokuto’s lips, lazily swiping his tongue over them just to get Hokuto to kiss him back. 

Once again, his head is filled with just Taiga and only Taiga. 

It’s a miracle what a difference a pen can do. 

“Don’t let me go,” he hears Taiga mumble against his damp skin, and it’s all it takes for Hokuto to forget about his past worries. 

Today, tomorrow, and the day after, and the coming days after that, and for the unforeseeable future, Taiga will be his. He won’t let go. 


End file.
